Once upon a time there was a man by the name of Billy Biggs who had a very long…yet somewhat unsatisfying life. Billy Biggs was born of humble beginnings at St. Mary’s hospital in Richmond, VA. When Billy was delivered into this world he immediately became aware that it was cold and Billy did NOT like cold…so he began to scream. Billy was cleaned, given a little bitty diaper, wrapped in a warm fuzzy blanket and taken to a room with many other babies. As he scanned the room, Billy realized that he was three rows back from the viewing window, (not up front), and did NOT like that. He also noticed that the baby beside him had a much “fuzzier” blanket than his…but what really got to him, was that the baby in front of him, (whose diaper was being changed), had a monogram on his diaper! Billy WANTED a monogramed diaper…and he began to scream!

Well, time went by and Billy Biggs was about 36 months old, sitting in the front of the grocery cart…sucking happily on his passy. Billy’s mom was looking at veggies when Billy noticed the baby in the cart beside him had a REALLY cool passy in her mouth…and Billy wanted that passy! So do you know what he did?? Why he screamed out, “GIVE MEEEE DAAT PASSSSYYYYY!!!” and yanked it right out of that babies mouth and stuck it directly into his own! His mother was horrified! She tried to reason with Billy because when she was finally able to retrieve the passy and return it, he was screaming his head off.

Billy Biggs finally began school…his tendency for dissatisfaction having only grown worse. The school he went to was not the one he wanted to go to. The teacher he had, (no matter which one), was not the right one. The subjects that he took were either to boring or not the right kind. His mother found that no matter what clothes she bought, they were the not the right color, style or just plain wrong. Even when Billy made friends…they were never the right friends, because Billy always wanted the friends he didn’t yet have.

Billy made it to High School and had a 4.0 average, but could never be content with that. He argued with the school board that there should be something “higher than average”. Billy Biggs somehow managed to get a girlfriend. She was a very sweet, beautiful, kind, intelligent and incredibly patient girlfriend at that. But as you might guess, Billy Biggs wanted somebody “better”. Billy graduated at the top of his class, but wasn’t happy. In fact he had never wanted to be the top of his class…he had wanted to be the top of the class the year ahead of his.

Billy went off to college and of course, shortly after arriving was quite unhappy with the school, its faculty and curriculum. He spent his college career trying to show everyone how things could be better. Billy graduated at the top of his class again and decided that from this day on he did not wish to be called “Billy”, he preferred Mr. Biggs. When he obtained his first job at a prestigious law firm he quickly became disappointed in both the firm and his boss, because he noticed how much both were lacking, compared to what ideas “he” had on how they could be better…BIGGER!

So Mr. Biggs decided to begin his own law firm and even his own advertising…BIGGS LAW – We are better and We are Bigger! He ultimately was very successful, although he could never enjoy it…because he couldn’t escape seeing how it could be better…BIGGER, if only they worked a little harder. Mr. Biggs never married, because he could never find that “perfect” woman. He never had kids. He made TONS of money, but could never be satisfied, because there was always someone who had more. Biggs had a REALLY BIG house, (many of them), but there were always bigger houses and people who had more than him. He owned many cars and boats, but alas he could NEVER be satisfied. One day, in his BIG house, with his beautiful furniture, looking out at his BIG pool…Mr. Biggs died – all alone.

He arrived at heavens gate anticipating FINALLY meeting St. Peter. However, it turned out Peter was on vacation and the saint working the gate that day was named Howard. Howard looked at him and said, “Billy! Come on in!” Billy, (irritated with being called Billy), said, “The name is Mr. Biggs and what’s more, who are you? You don’t look like Peter.” Howard stared at Biggs, (somewhat amazed), and said, “St. Peter is out right now, I’m St. Howard. Is that a problem?” Biggs looked him up and down and said, “I haven’t come all this way to be let into Heaven by a little saint named Howard! After all, I’m Mr. Biggs, don’t you know anything??” Howard, (trying to be patient), looked at Biggs and said, “Well, I’m it and coming in here is a one shot deal. Either you come in with me opening the gate…or you go to the other place.” Howard could NOT believe his ears when Mr. Billy Biggs announced… “I’ll go there! It’s GOT to be better than here!”

Of course, this is just a story…just make believe. But although an exaggeration, haven’t we all known a Mr. Biggs or better yet,  BEEN a Mr. Biggs at one time or another? Isn’t it easy to lose the joy found in each moment, each experience, each gift…when we allow ourselves to give in to the idea that there is something MORE…something BETTER…something BIGGER?

I know that for me, this tendency can be so subtle in nature. For example:  When I had 30 days sober…I wanted 60. When I had 60 days, I wanted 6 months. When I had 6 months, I wanted a year. When I had my first car, (which was used), I wanted a new car. When I got my first apartment, I wanted to have a house.When I got a house, I wanted new furniture, etc. However I’ve found that 9 times out of 10, when I am feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled, it is almost always because my eye has wandered, I’ve “compared myself” to someone or something else and have lost what was once a feeling of joy, gratitude and contentment. Of course the solution is quite thankfully an easy one:

I remind myself that I shouldn’t even be here. I should have perished many years ago. However I was spared and given another chance. All that I have and all that I am is because of grace and mercy. Not what I have “earned”, but rather what I’ve been “freely given”. Remembering this I find myself filled with peace and contentment… my mind then eagerly geared to what I can “give” rather than what I can “get”.

(Rebecca B.) BeccainBham@aol.com